Giving “presence” this Christmas Season

It’s that time of year again! Of course, I’m referring to Christmas! Personally, it’s my favorite time of the year.  To me, Christmas is so much more than a day. It’s a season of Advent, or “coming”.  It’s a season of hope, anticipation, and reflection.  It’s a season comprised of giving, putting others before ourselves.  It’s a season of gathering with our loved ones to share in the joys of life and the birth of Jesus!  This time of year means many different things to each of us. I would contend however, that one thing is true for all of us. It goes by too fast! Many of us will look back at this season and say, “Where did time go?”

This is all too common in our modern culture and society, isn’t it?  Dr. Kenneth Boa says:  “We live in the age of instantaneity.  We have instant coffee, instant replay, instant polls and instant messaging – all designed to help us find instant gratification.  There are countless products designed to speed us up and help us save those precious milliseconds.  For example, you can read your email, browse the latest news headlines and check your stock portfolio on your palm pilot while sitting in a drive-through ordering breakfast…”

We have such advanced technology designed to “save” us time. I don’t seem to have any more time than I used to though!!  Even some quotes from one of my favorite movies, Shawshank Redemption reflects this:
“Get busy living, or get busy dying”

Or:

“The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry”

The words busy and hurry seem to be all too common place in our vocabulary.  I can’t tell you how many times I must say to my kids daily:

“Hurry up kids, we don’t want to be late for the bus!”

“Come on kids, we need to hurry!”

“Ok, kids, it’s going to be a busy day!”

Wow, what am I setting them up for?  I seem to be feeding in to the pattern of “hurriedness”.  I’ve developed a fever from “hurry sickness”! (And it’s contagious!) The “commercialism” of Christmas is no help! While every other thing in society is telling us to “hurry up and get the best deals…hurry, don’t wait, this deal will end…limited supplies only”.  We don’t like that word “limited” do we?  That word in and of itself breeds” hurriedness”!

One of the many things I love about this time of year is that it helps me “reset” myself.  It reminds me of how much I need to slow down. This goes against the grain of the “commercialism” of Christmas doesn’t it? What other things in our lives does “hurry sickness” affect?  We know it robs our time.  How does it affect us relationally?  How does it affect our oneness with our spouse?  So many things are already competing for our time as we strive for marriage oneness.  This season can be one more thing that intensifies that competition.  How do we combat that?

A few weeks ago, Beth was sharing with me some insight she had gained from a book she recently read.  The book was called “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp.  Contained in that book was a quote that really resonated with Beth.  It was a quote by Elisabeth Elliot that said, “Wherever you are, be all there.” Wow! I loved that!  But what does that mean?  For me, it means to be present.  It means to experience the moment.   It means to stop worrying about where I need to be next and start living where I am right now.  

François Fénelon  (a 17^th century cleric) wrote:  “Time is precious, but we do not know yet how precious it really is.  We will only know when we are no longer able to take advantage of it…. Liberal and generous in every way, God in the wise economy of his providence teaches us how we should be prudent about the proper use of time.  He never gives us two moments at the same time.  He never gives us a second moment without taking away the first.  And he never grants us that second moment without holding the third one in his hand, leaving us completely uncertain as to whether we will have it.”

This season, give the gift of “presence” to your spouse.  Be present with your spouse.  Be present in the moment with them. Don’t let the symptoms of “hurry sickness” negatively impact the marriage oneness you and your spouse are striving for.