Are You Compatible With Your Spouse?

Have you ever gone through periods of time where you feel incompatibility has driven a wedge between you and your spouse? Did you ever think to yourself, “Wow, how did I ever marry this person?”  If so, you’re probably not alone.  To determine if one is compatible with their spouse, maybe one should look at what compatibility means to them.  What if we looked at compatibility as not being defined by the number of things a couple HAS in common, but how a couple resolves the things they DO NOT have in common. 

Author Tony Evans says that in light of God’s plan for wholeness in marriage, one of the most uninformed statements a spouse can make is, “my spouse and I are just not compatible” or “my spouse and I are as different as night and day”. Of course that’s true!  God created everyone different.  If a husband and wife were the same, one of them would be unnecessary! The reason a man and a wife need each other is because they ARE different. 

I like to think of a husband and wife as two cogwheels.  Sure, each wheel has its gaps.  But, guess what? The other wheel has a tooth that fits right into that other gap causing the cogwheels to move in a certain direction.  That is the way God made us.  He made us with gaps and has supplied us with a spouse to fill those gaps so that together we become INTERDEPENDANT.

So, if we look at compatibility with these lenses, we will see that there will always be differences.  Those differences however should not define compatibility. The true test of compatibility culminates into one question.  Are you willing to work through your differences in order to develop the compatibility you desire?  

A cogwheel is made of a series of teeth and gaps.  God made all of us with gaps.  He gave us a spouse to fill those gaps to make marriage an interdependant relationship.