“In sickness and in health…until death do us part…for richer or poorer.” Many couples recite these very words at their wedding but, sadly, few may really understand the deep meaning and importance of these words. Have you ever taken the time to sit and ponder the words you said to your spouse on your wedding day? Really thought about them? Not many couples encounter hardships throughout their dating relationship where sickness or financial difficulties arise. So saying these words is “easy.” But years down the road, when they finally do encounter difficulties, their marriage is strained because they have come down from their “Honeymoon phase.” And rather than try to work through any problems, many find it easier to quit.
God desires for us to enter into a covenant marriage, a promise between two people, a marriage that is permanent and lifelong. But unfortunately, many enter into a contractual marriage, one that is temporary or can be negotiated out of. Society “supports” contractual marriages. Think about how many times you hear stories of marriage longevity versus how many times you hear about someone getting a divorce. You hear of stories of celebrities who divorce after only a few weeks of marriage. You can watch divorce court on TV. It’s no wonder our children are gaining an unhealthy vision of what true marriage should be! What happened to the days of “until death do us part?”
God speaks of covenants many times in the bible (Genesis 9:8-17, Genesis 17:1-14, Luke 22:20, Hebrews 9:15). God entered into covenants with His people, because He loves us. And of course there was the very first marriage covenant…Adam and Eve. Shouldn’t we be focusing our energies on building lifelong marriages, instead of knowing and taking the easy way out? The longer you are married, the more you realize that marriage isn’t easy. There will be many challenges and roadblocks that come along the way. That is a given! But if you have the right perspective and the proper “tools,” you will be able to maneuver through them easier. Building a covenant marriage will require sacrifice, change, and lots of patience. It will require that you forgive, and ask for forgiveness from your spouse. It means that you will have to take time to learn how to listen and communicate effectively, learn how to maneuver through conflict, and learn how to love them the way they want to be loved.
I read an article recently in which a woman was describing how blessed she felt after 30 years of being married to her husband. She wrote the following sentence and it really struck me, “Loyd is starting to look like an old man, but when I look at him I will always see the handsome boy I walked down the aisle to and into a life with, because I choose to look back. And I plan to finish what I've begun.” Sounds like a woman who is dedicated to her marriage “until death do them part.”
Which kind of marriage will you choose?
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